Often, more so of late, I have been asked "When are you getting married?".
Here's my answer :
Last night , I spoke to one of my best buddies. Suddenly, she tells me "You'll go thro it, too." Her threatening tone said "How can you stay away from the experience of marriage, when we are all going through it?". For a minute I was taken aback, and for the next two I laughed, and laughed.
"Are you wishing me well or threatening me?", I wondered.
She really got me thinking on this whole issue of being married. For a long time, I thought I never wanted to be married. A couple years ago, I realized that I did not, not want be married; I did not want to be 'JUST' married.
In my growing-up years, I always had this unwavering need to establish my independent identity. And I've worked continuously towards that. Today, I have a strong sense of self, an ego(both negative and positive), a sense of purpose and ambition. I live each day on my own terms. I have overcome that urge to always pass every decision I take through the litmus test of 'What will people think?'. And yes, I have an attitude with its share of positive and negative effects.
Now, in light of this, you(the questioner) will understand when I say I don't HAVE to be married for financial security, status in society, or to be a mother. (For those of you gasping in horror at the last one, know that single women can adopt in India ;-), I had no other alternative in mind. )
I am no feminist.
I am a closet romantic.
I am also a cynic.
"Ok, so if you don't HAVE to be married, then you must WANT to be married."
Maybe, maybe not, I say. You see, wanting something is always circumstantial. Therefore, logically, wanting to be married is directly dependent on the existence of an individual who I want to be with. Till such an individual takes centre stage in my life, ladies and gentlemen, I will stay single. You see, I cannot be married just because I should be married. ( OMG, your 28, some say.)
And, believe me, staying single is no punishment. It is a very enjoyable way of life.
Here's my answer :
Last night , I spoke to one of my best buddies. Suddenly, she tells me "You'll go thro it, too." Her threatening tone said "How can you stay away from the experience of marriage, when we are all going through it?". For a minute I was taken aback, and for the next two I laughed, and laughed.
"Are you wishing me well or threatening me?", I wondered.
She really got me thinking on this whole issue of being married. For a long time, I thought I never wanted to be married. A couple years ago, I realized that I did not, not want be married; I did not want to be 'JUST' married.
In my growing-up years, I always had this unwavering need to establish my independent identity. And I've worked continuously towards that. Today, I have a strong sense of self, an ego(both negative and positive), a sense of purpose and ambition. I live each day on my own terms. I have overcome that urge to always pass every decision I take through the litmus test of 'What will people think?'. And yes, I have an attitude with its share of positive and negative effects.
Now, in light of this, you(the questioner) will understand when I say I don't HAVE to be married for financial security, status in society, or to be a mother. (For those of you gasping in horror at the last one, know that single women can adopt in India ;-), I had no other alternative in mind. )
I am no feminist.
I am a closet romantic.
I am also a cynic.
"Ok, so if you don't HAVE to be married, then you must WANT to be married."
Maybe, maybe not, I say. You see, wanting something is always circumstantial. Therefore, logically, wanting to be married is directly dependent on the existence of an individual who I want to be with. Till such an individual takes centre stage in my life, ladies and gentlemen, I will stay single. You see, I cannot be married just because I should be married. ( OMG, your 28, some say.)
And, believe me, staying single is no punishment. It is a very enjoyable way of life.
